Blasphemy, ahoy! (You have been warned)

As a happy blasphemer with little to no standards, I’m a fan of the mind-sucking inanity of LOL[whatever] sites, but LOLJesus seems to be leading the pack in their slow downward spiral into the land of Not Funny Anymore.

See, LOL macros don’t need much to be funny: a short and simple phrase, some vaudevillian comedy, and weird mispellings as if being typed by a cheeseburger-loving cat (note: NOT a rampaging drunkard). When you throw in 10 speech bubbles (a la MS Paint) per image, populate at least half of them with “LOL(Z)”, and encourage raging flames from the stupids of every belief and anti-belief on the internets, you just get a crappy humor that is—figuratively—headed straight to hell.

Basically every comment thread breaks down into a poop flail-off between an outraged Christian and an equally outraged atheist, neither of whom are very logical and both of whom are self-righteous to the extreme. Here’s a short thread that does just that. Let’s analyze Christian-hater “Judas” and Jesus-lover “I LOVE JESUS’” comments for, um, therapy:

Commenter “Judas” sums up his beliefs quite simply: “he is a christian = he is a weak willed pussy.” Awesome, dude! Use the same line of logic that has fueled every act of genocide ever! Not that this Judas guy will be violently ridding the earth of Christians anytime soon, but doesn’t it just seem not productive to be thinking like people from the Middle Ages? (Hey, I didn’t drag Hitler out on this one! …Oh wait…) …Sadly, this point of view is more common among atheists than anyone would like (atheists included). The saner folk realize that Christianity is staying put for a while yet (to say the least) and it’s a better idea to get along with the majority of people on the planet.

On the flip side, commentor “I LOVE JESUS” obviously enjoys Jesus displays the same symptoms as Judas (lack of understanding of the other side, inability to think outside his own head). So maybe Christinanity isn’t like Jewishness (where tradition counts just as much, if not more than, Judaism)… but I thought one just had to accept Jesus as his savior or something to that effect (wouldn’t conversion rates take a hit if people had to read the whole freaking bible? I thought that’s what abridged versions were for… and what about kids raised Christian?). Also, thinking that every atheist is a money-grubbing, devil-worshipping egoist is just extreme and unrealistic.

Anyway, the moral of that rant was: these ideological battles aren’t going to end anytime soon, so the important thing is just learning to develop enough respect for each other so that we can all actually move on with our lives.

But if you’re a Scientologist, you can go slap yourself, you ninny.

(This was all typed at 4am, even though I’m posting it at a saner hour. I shouldn’t be typing at 4am.)